You've been on the operating table just long enough to realize that the patient is you.
(Maharaji - Prem Rawat, date unknown)
From the Pulpit of
Reverend John Hammond-Smyth
I am Alpha & I am Omega
And the Lord sayeth - I am in the timeless place for I am beyond time and space, for I am Alpha and I am Omega. I am the beginning and the end.
And He didst create an timepiece for to weareth upon the wrist and he saw that it was good. And upon its face he didst design the most exquisite face which was of Mickey Mouse and he sayeth to his lawyers - hear ye O children of Prem, for I have made for you this priceless gift of time and no man may copyeth it for it is MINE and mine alone.
And his lawyers didst quake at the knees for they were sore afraid of the wrath of the Lord. And they didst contact the Patents Office and didst request for an patent for the Lord's Mickey Mouse watch.
And the Lord saw that it was good and he didst tell the whole world the good news and every eye didst see and every ear didst hear of the patent of the Lord. And lo, the children of Prem didst fall upon their faces crying - All hail our great leader who is not a leader! All hail the great one who moveth the Universe and is the creator of time!
But it came to pass that a prophet whose name is Gerry didst dare to question the word of the Lord. And the prophet Gerry didst search high and low for the patent of the Lord but alas, a patent he found not. And the prophet sayeth - verily I say unto you, O children of Prem, I have searched under every stone and over every mountain in the kingdom and yet there is no patent.
And there was a wailing and gnashing of teeth in heaven as the great prophet's word didst reach the Lord and his concubines. And the wrath of the Lord did reach the outermost corners of the kitchen. And he sayeth - woe to you, you lawyers and patent clerks for you denieth me mine glory which is due to me. I AM the Lord your God for I am the Alpha and I am the Omega and that Mickey Mouse watch is mine, mine, mine!
This is a fictional work.
All characters and events portrayed are fictional.
Any similarity to real persons other than Public Persons is strictly coincidental.
Any similarity to real events is also coincidental.