You've been on the operating table just long enough to realize that the patient is you.
(Maharaji - Prem Rawat, date unknown)
From the Pulpit of
Reverend John Hammond-Smyth
And every eye shall see him
And it came to pass that in those times, the Tribes of Prem were scattered unto the four corners of the world and didst hunger after the divine one whose name is Haharaji. And they didst search for him in every place saying - whither goest our Lord for we have not had a program for many months?
And the Lord heard their cries and sayeth unto his accountant - Give me thy feasability study on yonder video link for I am down to my last $10,000,000 and I cannot do a program lest mine enemies rebuke me.
And lo, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto the children of Prem from afar and every eye did see him on TV and there were great signs and wonders in every place where people had paid good money to watch him.
And the Lord didst rejoice with his concubine and didst mock his enemies saying - My security didst prevent mine enemies from seeing me and though they didst travel from afar, the doors were closed to them! And there was a great rejoicing in Malibu and the Lord sayeth unto his accountant - verily, from this day I shall call you Arnold which means 'he with business acumen' and lo, Arnold didst fall at the feet of the Lord.
And the Lord sayeth - mine enemies are no match for me, verily I say unto you before the Ides of March thou shalt see me on every computer for I am the omnipresent and omnicient one. I AM the Lord. And the Lord didst call forth his computer experts and they didst build him a web site and didst fiddle the search engines so that the omnipresent one stood at the top of every index. And the children of prem didst cry out with one voice saying - Praise be the great one! All praises to the highest Lord whom we doth follow and do his will, for he sayeth he is not a leader or a figurehead.
This is a fictional work.
All characters and events portrayed are fictional.
Any similarity to real persons other than Public Persons is strictly coincidental.
Any similarity to real events is also coincidental.