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From the Pulpit of

Reverand John Hammond-Smyth

Sermon 752

The temptation of Michael

October 6, 2000 in the year of our lord

And it came to pass that a dark angel of Satan whose name was Yves didst appear unto Michael and sayeth - Why dost thou hold back from us, for it is written that Michael didst once proclaim that his Lord was the God on High and now ye sayeth that ye maketh a contract with a mere meditation teacher and sweareth an oath unto a false god who is not even a very good meditation teacher?

Why dost thou not leave thy false god and come with us unto the land of Ex-prem?

And Michael sayeth - I always knew that God was just a meditation teacher and not really very bright and so I maketh for him a divine barn for him to harvest his riches and keep them from the eyes of the heathens and unbelievers.

And in those days, there was another angel of darkness whose name was Joe of Whalen and he held the sword of sharp tongue and cutting criticism. And he rebuked Michael saying - thy days in the world of the meditation teacher god are numbered for thou hast born false witness against thine premie brethren who had once putteth their faith in you. Give up this charade and come with us unto the land of ex-prem which is a land flowing with milk and honey and where thy covenant with the meditation teacher god shall be broken.

And Michael replyeth - Verily I say unto you, I will not come with you unto your land for it is written that the Lord thy meditation teacher god shall provide unto his favourites. For they that sweareth the oath of allegence unto his kingdom shall have riches and abundance which shall be added unto their own.

And lo, the Devil himself, whose name is Jim of Heller came unto Michael and tempteth him, saying - Deny thy Lord and thou shalt dwell in the kingdom of ex-prem for all the days of thy life. And thy brethren of ex-prem shall fall upon their knees before you and will worship you saying - here is the great one who didst leave the meditation teacher god and didst preach the truth to us, that we might know the ways of the Lord.

And Michael sayeth - Get thee behind me, Satan. I cannot go back upon a promise that I maketh to my Lord for his riches hath become as mine own, yea, even unto the Swiss money changers. Verily I say unto you; you never saw the glory of the meditation teacher god's riches even though his riches didst come from thine own pockets.

And there was a wailing a gnashing of teeth throughout the land of ex-prem for it was clear to all that Michael's hands were indeed tied, as tight as the moorings on the divine yacht that lyeth in the harbour. Yeah, and the devil and his angels didst cover their faces in awe as the confidentiality contract was shown to them in clarity and synchronisity.

And the boy (Sir) David sayeth - what hath been signed can never be put away and he that is the meditation teacher god hath bought the silence of the PAMs. Verily I say unto you, the fault is not Michael's but all blame lies at the feet of the beast with two heads that dwelleth in Malibu. And the boy (Sir) David didst say to the children of ex-prem, tempt ye not this Michael of Dettmers. For there but for the grace of God go I. Who are we to say what a man may do or not do? Who are we to point a finger at our own brethren?


Legal Disclaimer
This is a fictional work.
All characters and events portrayed are fictional.
Any similarity to real persons other than Public Persons is strictly coincidental.
Any similarity to real events is also coincidental.

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