Grace,

Knowledge,

Surrender

Guru Maharaj Ji at the Court of Love Retreat, Reeders, Pennsylvania, September 5, 1977

Dear premies, I really don't know how finally I made it here, because, like we've been travelling since late last night, and we got into New York at about five or six o'clock in the morning. And it's been pretty incredible because, you know, you come into New York from a nice, quiet town, and all of a sudden there you are in the middle of just about everything. And I mean, there was a lot that happened, but besides that, I just feel that there was a lot of Grace.

And this is what we really have to all experience in our lives, and really understand what Grace is, and how does 14 Divine Times

it actually and practically really work in our lives.

You know, the other day at the residence in Denver, I was having satsang with the premies. And it's just like, it's so incredible, because always our fight is against death, you know. It's like, so much we do in our lives to stay alive or to do this or to do that; it's just a big fight against death. And yet we know that all that battle, all that energy, all that that we put in to stay away from that death, to stay away from it all — though still that battle can never be won!

Because it's so incredible. When I was coming to Denver from Los Angeles, we got airborne out of LAX, and there we were, climbing, and you know, the captain and the co-pilot were just fiddling with the cabin pressure, and they really didn't know what was going on. And all of a sudden, you know, I felt the airplane started to go down a little bit, and I told Steve to find out what was going on. And all of a sudden, "pop" goes the oxygen masks and everything else. And it was just like, they couldn't hold up their pressure at that altitude. And it started to come down, and, you know, it was a whole trip that happened there.

But at the time you could really see — because it was so incredible. You know, your body doesn't have a built-in alert system. Your brain doesn't have an alert system built into you, where if you don't have enough oxygen into you, it can start going, "You don't have enough oxygen. You don't have enough oxygen." It's not like that. You'll just sort of pass out, and that'll be it. That'll be it! It's like, you can be breathing, and you'll just black out.

But premies, it was at that instant — so much was going on, and it felt like ages were passing by. It just felt like it was happening forever. Because really there was not much oxygen coming out of those oxygen masks, either. But it all happened in, like, two seconds. That was it. And then we were back to a normal place where we could breathe.

So it's like, we have to really understand: What is our ultimate fight all about, all against? That is what we all fight — for the rest of our lives, just constantly to do this or to do that not to die, to survive; a fight for survival. And it's a fight against death. And yet we know that we're never going to win that fight, and that nobody has really won that fight yet. That everybody in this world, one or the other day, ends up right flat against it.

But then, what is the purpose of this human life? Just to fight a fight that is never going to be won?

And it's just like, flying over here, you could see all these gravestones, you know. You could see all these graveyards and these headstones on the graveyards. And obviously these people — that's what they've done for such a long time: just fighting for sort of an endless reason. And then there they are, six feet under the ground, with a little slab saying born in 18-something and died in 19-something and, "He was a good guy." And that's about it! And that's the result of your whole fight. That's the end of your fight. That's the beginning of your fight. That's the motive of your fight.

And yet there's so much of a greater purpose in our life that we can realize, that we can understand, that can manifest within inside of us. And that's where we have to concentrate; that's where we have to motivate ourselves for.

Because, you see, this whole game — if you call it a game, and I don't think it is a game — and yet to a lot of people this whole game of liberation, of realization, of understanding, of perfection, of total surrender (and it's really not a game; it's the fact, it's the Truth) — it's just like, what is it based on? They have these questions: "What is this based on?"

Well, this is based on true understanding. So far you are in illusion, everything can be okay. You can be in the middle of the desert and hallucinate that there is a feast before you, hallucinate that there is a waterfall in front of you. And then you hallucinate all that, you run towards it, and when you finally get there, nothing like that exists! It just doesn't exist!

But what is this Knowledge all about? What is this Truth all about? What is surrender all about? What's realization all about? It's about snapping out of that illusion, and finding out: "No, wait a minute. All that we pursue so much in our lives is just a hallucination." And it is there because we are really trying to implement, we are really trying to force that on ourselves. We are really trying to make ourselves believe that all those things exist there, because we want them so bad. And yet we really have no way of figuring out what it is, and yet we have a lot of concepts about it.

Like, for instance, God. You can go just about to any child who has a good vocabulary, who can draw a picture, who has a good imagination, and ask him about God, and he'll give you a very straightforward answer: "Yeah, well, God is this old man." Because simply, first of all, "He's been there for a long, long time. And anybody who's there for a long, long time has got to be pretty old, you know? And secondly then, if He is old, maybe He doesn't have a razor, so He doesn't shave His beard. And because He doesn't shave His beard and He's so old, so it's gotta be white. And He doesn't cut His hair, and it's long. And He sits on a beautiful chair." And I mean, it's just so many concepts.

And people really believe in that, you know. It's not like, "Okay, it's a concept and that's all okay, and that's the end of the story." But, no! It's like so realistic that here you are, you can barely crawl, and yet you will run towards this illusion, this hallucination.

But this is what Guru Maharaj Ji does: Guru Maharaj Ji says, "Forget about this hallucination. This is not really true. What you are trying to pursue, what you are trying to fight against, you will never be able to fight against, because you're going to lose that fight." You know. Don't fight against it. It is not to be fought. It is to be accepted as it comes. And yet what you have to fight is those hallucinations. And stick to what is the reality in this life, what is the Truth in this life, in this world. And it's like, this is where we have to go, this is our point.

So then it becomes a whole question of how do you snap out of these illusions, because they constantly keep happening, you know? And then, most of the credit here goes to Mr. Mind — or Mrs. Mind, or Miss Mind, or whatever it is — goes to that. And you know, it just takes us from one place to another place, from one place to another place, you know? And we find ourselves just — nothing is really manifesting in our lives. There we are! That's the end of everything; that's the beginning of everything.

And yet, premies, there is so far, so deep within inside of us such a great place, such an incredible place, such a beautiful place which is so real, so true, so fantastic, that if it could be possibly and perfectly described to us (and of course, technically, why not? If it exists, theoretically, somebody should be able to describe it), but look: It's just not possible.

It's just like there's so many, so many, so many scriptures that were written. And these guys actually sat down and wrote these things, and that's no joke! 'Specially when you don't have an electric computer or a typewriter or, you know, an electroset machine or something like that. Where you got to actually sit down, take word by word, and edit it and so on and so forth. And there these guys actually wrote this experience. And yet that experience is not sufficient, you know?

I mean, look at Bible. It's just composed of so many experiences. Why not just one person's experience? Finished! Does that mean that what John describes is really not true, so that's substituted by Luke or Matthew? No! It's all that true experience.

But yet, you've had this retreat going on for a few days now. And Hans Jayanti is coming up very soon, and that's going to be a really long, long program. We haven't decided where it's going to be. We've decided the dates for it, you know. And it's just like — there it is going to be, you know, and all the premies are going to be there and there's going to be so many satsangs. I mean, that'll be like another whole program that'll be happening. And there's so many satsangs that you're going to hear there. And there's so many satsangs you have heard here. And yet maybe those words that you have heard in each satsang are not exactly identical. Yet they try to describe the same thing; and each one of them go only so far, and then leave it completely up to you to inspire you to realize that experience yourself, so that it can manifest within inside of you.

Because theoretically, you know, and technically, why shouldn't it be done? But it just can't be done. It just cannot be described. It is the undescribable experience. And you have to realize it for yourself. And there's no reason in this whole wide world why you can't. You most definitely, most certainly can describe this, and have this experience manifest, within your heart, to yourselves. Not describe it to somebody outside, but to know it within yourself, within your own heart.

And this is where we have to really come back to. This is where we have to focus at, you know. Not at what we are always trying to do in this lifetime. Not what we are always trying to pursue in this lifetime. I mean, there's certain things, there's a few things that, yes, you have to. But besides all that, the true aim, the true, true, true, true aim is what we have to really, really pursue.

And to find the true aim that we want to pursue, we have to surrender.

You know, it's like there are three things. There is surrender; there is Grace; and there is Knowledge. And it's more like Grace is on one end; Knowledge is in the middle; and surrender is on the other end. And it doesn't matter which way you flip it. And doesn't matter which way you slice it. It all comes out the same: Surrender, Knowledge, and Grace.

You know, it's like, first of all we need Grace to receive Knowledge, to understand Knowledge, to be able to surrender. But yet, if we don't surrender, we won't have Grace, you know. And so that's one cycle.

And yet if we don't have Grace, how are we going to surrender?

' And yet, if we don't have Knowledge in between the both, the Grace and the surrender, how are we going to go on

"There is so far, so deep within inside of us such a great place, such an incredible place, such a beautiful place which is so real, so true, so fantastic."

either side? How are we going to either be able to ever accomplish Grace in our lives, or the experience of meditation, or the experience of surrender? Or actually surrender? You know, I mean, how is that ever going to manifest in our lives? So it's like, we have to indulge in that whole atmosphere. We have to completely let ourselves go into that whole atmosphere.

It's like — just driving down New York. Now, you would think at five o'clock in the morning, everybody would be sound asleep. And nobody would be up there. Everybody would be just — you know, what's got to happen at five o'clock? And maybe something unusual you might see is a guy running across the road or running across the park, you know. He gets up, and he is into yoga or something like that, and so he daily exercises five o'clock in the morning, because that's a very nice time to wake up.

But that's what, you know, you don't see. You don't see a guy running there. Or you don't see a yoga guy going around there. But you see these guys whistling at taxis, or, you know, just doing, just goofing around, whatever they can goof at!

So it's like, it's such a vast difference between what people are trying to actually pursue, what people are trying to actually accomplish — and you know, to them, maybe that is what is going to bring them actual peace. Maybe that is what is going to bring them actual satisfaction that they are looking for.

Now, I don't know how people get that kind of an idea, ever. But they certainly do, and they do staunchly believe in that. They very staunchly believe in that, that that's what it is: "Live it up, kid." That's about it, you know?

But there is this whole atmosphere of Knowledge. There's this whole Grace. There is this whole world of Knowledge, of surrender, of realization, of Grace that we have to enter, that we have to focus towards, that we have to really realize, you know.

And as I understand, the program was supposed to be finished like at about five, or three. But don't bother about it. That whole highway is jammed. Cars are from bumper to bumper. So you're not going to go anywhere anyway, so you just ... if you just relax maybe the traffic will clear up and then you can go where you have to go.

But it's like, I know that there's a lot of people here — and always, you know, when the satsang programs are taking place, like, for instance, at Florida, the

Guru Puja Festival — it's such a trip, you know, because all these people go out and they book their charters. They book them at the wrong time! They book them at the wrong time. And then all of a sudden somebody comes up to you and starts saying, "Well, Guru Maharaj Ji, we gotta finish the program at such-and-such a time." I say, "Well, forget it," you know? "Those people want to leave, they can leave. By all means." And yet it's just so beautiful, because if they could just stay there for that second, and enjoy that, that would be beautiful too!

So it's like. Grace is something that just happens. But yet, we have to let it happen within inside of us. If we do not let it happen within inside of us, then it will not happen. It will not manifest, you know.

Because the whole thing was — and I really don't understand this, because I've been travelling all night long, and the plane got delayed hour after hour after hour after hour. And somebody told me this ride was only half an hour; no, it's not, it's forty-five minutes, and it's a long ride.

And it's just like, the way it all started: It was a Sunday morning. I came out of my room, turned on the stereo system, turned on the tape deck, turned on the DBX, and I was recording some songs onto a tape. Then I started to play the One Foundation tapes that they just recorded at Malibu. And then, you know, I just turned around, Michael was sitting there, John was sitting there, I said, "You know, it's a really beautiful idea, because there is a satsang that they're having tonight at the community center in Denver, and what we could do is we could pipe it to New York ..." — you know, at this retreat. And Raja Ji was already — Raja Ji had already left.

And then it was like, you know, a couple of hours later, there goes the phone. Raja Ji's on the phone. And I had talked to Raja Ji prior to that and everything was nice. He had gotten here, you know, and everything was okay, and he said, "Oh, everything is beautiful, everything is arranged just nice . . ." and so on and so forth. Well, I wouldn't go into all those arrangements quite. But anyway, he said, "You know, maybe you should — you should try to come."

And there it was, you know. We just tried to get a plane together, tried to get everybody together, who's going, who's not going; just tried to put the whole package deal together, in about three or four hours try to take off. And I said, "Boy. . ."

And the original plan was — I mean, this is a very sophisticated plan. It took us a long, long time to figure out how we were ever going to pull this, and we didn't pull it. The plan was that we were going to land in Allentown. There there were going to be two helicopters waiting. And then those helicopters were going to pick us up, and drop us at an airport that was going to be about fifteen or twenty minutes away from here. There there were going to be these couple of limousines that's sitting out there waiting, at this airport, that were going to bring us here.

And I guess that is the whole reason why Bill was trying to keep you up last night, till six o'clock. But the thing is we got in at about five or six or seven o'clock, so it just didn't work out. And by that time you guys went to sleep. And we were just thinking, you know, what would happen. All the premies would be falling asleep, and I would come in, and premies would go, "Oh, hi, Maharaj Ji . . ." (pretends to doze off). But, anyway, it worked out really beautiful.

And then it was like, boy, those two helicopters that were sitting there at Allentown hadn't left yet! Because they got fogged in. So we said, "How are we ever going to get over here?" And we were tired. We hadn't had enough sleep. And I said, "Two hour car ride!" I said, "Forget it," you know. "Not now. Not after this long, long, long ride with this airplane, coming over here." And when we got to the airport. . . Well, needless to say that, what happened there. But the whole thing is, somehow I got there, you know. And it's just that you had to really let go of a lot of stuff, and you had to really, you know, say "Okay," you know. "This will happen; maybe it won't happen." Flipping coins and stuff like that.

So premies, the essence of this whole thing is — I don't know, you know. I just got here a few minutes ago, and I really don't know how much satsang you have heard and how much you have really gained from the satsang. Because satsang is so beautiful, yet it is so technical. Yet we have to hear it through this body. I mean, of course there is an experience of satsang that we feel, and body's got nothing to do with it. Yet we got to hear it out. And, you know, a lot of times we just hear it from one ear and just take it out the other ear. And I just hope that that's not what happened at this retreat.

This is just a retreat. And the whole idea (you know, I was just reading the schedule) the whole idea was for you to come here and just get away — well, if you are from New York, from New York.

And if you are from New Jersey, you can get away from New Jersey, too. But to get away from everything and just come together, just for one purpose, and that is to have a lot of satsang, to have a lot of meditation, and to have just that opportunity to share some satsang with each other. And I just certainly hope that you have taken in that satsang, you've really taken in what has been said here, to heart. And really try to follow up on it.

Because all you have to do — you know, and it's just like, as sophisticated it is, so simple it is. And the simplicity of this whole thing is that all you have to do is just let go. And just flow with the flow of Knowledge, of surrender, of Grace; and let them carry you.

You know, it's like, can you imagine sitting in that helicopter, or going and sitting in an airplane, and then wanting to fly — because that is what you want; you want to fly from one place to the other place — so you start going like this (flapping his arms) sitting inside of a helicopter. Now what basically you will be doing is you will be all over the pilot; you will be all over the helicopter, you know. Because you're trying to fly. That's not — that's not what you try to do. You know, when you get in an airplane, you let go, and you relax, and you sit back. And you let the airplane take you. It's like a vessel that takes you to that place that you want to go.

And the only difference is that in a helicopter, in an airplane, there's so many technical things. And for everything that

is there in that helicopter or in that airplane, there's that much to go wrong. And yet, in that boati in that Grace, in that whole vessel of surrender — satsang, service, and meditation — there are no moving parts. There are no technical parts. There are no parts to go wrong, you know. There is no decay material. And the only decay material that really there is, is you yourself. So unless you jump out of the boat, nothing is going to happen. Everything is just going to be beautiful and smooth. So all you have to do is just let flow with it.

And I just hope that you have benefited from this satsang. Because boy, I sure went through a lot to come here, you know! And so, I just hope that you all — you know, it's like this satsang sort of provided two things. It sort of kept my promise that I made: "Oh, we'll have a program in between Guru Puja and Hans Jayanti." There it is! And it's small, and it's not too sophisticated, but there it is. And now we have Hans Jayanti coming up very soon. One other reason . . .

Very, very soon! And, well, actually it starts 8th, 9th and 10th, which are the regular dates. But then, you see, the 10th is a Thursday. So why stop at that when we can just go one more day and that'll put us clear across to Saturday? So it's a five-day Hans Jayanti.

And this helicopter is going to land here and it's going to make a lot of noise. So premies, it sure was nice to see you. And I love you all, and I'll see you at Hans Jayanti.

September/October, 1977