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Posted: Tues, Oct 03, 2000
Posted by: Larkin
Recipient: All
Subject: All Hail to the Lord with the 100 ft yacht!

Well I could have signed up with that sweet Mararishi
a there-you-go mantra all yours for my own
ok, so the charlatan's rolling in money
but at least they don't seat the old flake on a throne..
or - hey! - a sex crazy, bright orange Rajneeshi
a bucolic frolic conclusion foregone
just bold day-glo brothers and hippie-chick honeys
spreading fear and revulsion throughout Oregon..

Maharaji, Maharaji, dear video exporter
so sorry you had us like lambs to the slaughter
my Christ - did we really deserve what we got
when we fell for the fraud with the 100 ft yacht?

Or I could have had Koresh beside me to guide me
he'd teach me at least how to fire a gun right
no matter Mount Carmel so soon became charnel
just give me the prophet who'll set things alight..
Applewhite - full of shite? - who cares, he will hide me
meditation, castration? - I won't reason why
I've no earthly need for things fleshly or carnal
now Marshall is taking us up to the sky..

Maharaji, Maharaji, dear satellite saviour
hope you made use of the money we gave yer..
my Christ - did we really deserve what we got
from a boring old twat with a 100 ft yacht?

They say that there's bliss to be had in the orient
with Ashokohara, life's really a gas
with forty-odd thousand devotees behind him
the jail-term will surely and painlessly pass..
falun gong, so I hear, is inciting much foment
(forget the cold war - this could damage our trade)
they’ve even a leader, if someone can find him
and once we've made contact the dude's got it made..

Maharaji, Maharaji, Our satellite saddhu
so sick that you had us, so sorry we had you
my Christ - did we really deserve what we got
to be cloned by the clown with the 100 ft yacht?

Be Catholic, go Baptist, whate'er makes your day, now
go sing Hare Krishna if that turns you on
just be warned: every guru will gorge like a gannet
and pull out the carpet you're walking upon
Jim Jones had his day and, indeed, had his way, now
taught 'poison is truth' as it e'er more shall be, oh
'coz cults are a blight on the face of the planet
but they'll never again make a monkey of me, oh…

Maharaji, Maharaji, O bullshit redeemer
so barely cogniscient, yet good enough schemer
my Christ - did we really deserve all we got
when we scrubbed for the tub with the 100-ft yacht..?

90-100: As good as Sex Pistols God Save the Queen or Howl
80-89: Good beat, easy to dance to
70-79: Better than Blue Aquarius
60-69: As good as One Foundation
Less than 60: Worse than Maharaji's music or poems