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From the Pulpit of

Reverand John Hammond-Smyth

Sermon 823

The European Union expandeth its kingdom

May 5, 2005 (Cinco de Mayo) in the year of our lord


And it came to pass that King Gerry of Ex-prem grew weary of his kingdom and didst seek a way to banish the trolls and devils from his life forever. And lo, he summoned the elders of the European Union and didst seek to make a pact with then saying - Behold, I shall soon abdicate from mine throne for I have grown too old to fight these trolls and devils and mine language is deemed too course and blunt for the new tribes that flock unto the land of Ex-prem.

And King Gerry sayeth unto the scribes of the EU - Thy words are sweet and gentle like unto the birds that sing at dusk in the mandrake fields. Go hither and take up thy scrolls and writeth a new forum that shall be pleasing to the new tribes of Ex-prem who cometh over the mountain from afar and who are gentle and who fear the words of fuque and ass hole.

And behold, the elders and the scribes of the European Union saw that it was good and all kneeleth before King Gerry saying - All hail King Gerry, Lord of the Ex-prems. Thou who passeth thy power unto us is as wise as Solomon for we shall take thy great kingdom into our midst and shalt form an EU Commission thereof. And we shall write edicts unto the children of Ex-prem so that they may become more gentle in their manner and shalt abandon the words of fuque and ass hole and shalt revile those who make references to the Catbox.

And the whole of the European Union didst rejoice that yet another kingdom was surrendered unto their control. But lo, upon the edges of the EU there were barbarians who hid in the wilderness and didst mutter unclean words to each other. And one came from amongst them who is called Roger of eDrek and he sayeth - Fuque you, you wankers. I'm outta here! If I can't fuquin' be myself I'm fuqued if I'm gong to listen to your crap.

And the scribes of the European Union didst write scrolls to shew unto eDrek that they might placate him and keep him in the EU. But eDrek hid his eyes from their words and didst continue to blaspheme and use unclean words that didst shock the new tribes that were praying in the temple. And they tore their clothes and didst cover their ears so that the abominations would not be heard.

And it came to pass that the elders and the scribes of the EU didst excommunicate the barbarian eDrek and sent him to a land far away that is called AAA. And so it was that the European Union didst continue to grow and reign forever and ever.


 

Legal Disclaimer
This is a fictional work.
All characters and events portrayed are fictional.
Any similarity to real persons other than Public Persons is strictly coincidental.
Any similarity to real events is also coincidental.

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Prem Rawat's House of Maharaji Drek
Quirky Trivia Relating to Maharaji
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