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Date:

Sat, Sep 18, 1999 at 21:05:02 (EDT)

From:

TD

Email:

To:

All

Subject:

My premie astrologer.../TD>
Message:
Just some hungover Sunday musings here...

Well, what better way to start the morning than with a read of the Sunday papers and a cup of coffee. And lo and behold, I stumbled upon Jonathan Cainer's syndicated astrology column. Now I always understood that astrologers take into account the difference between hemispheres when they do people's charts, so it's amusing that Cainer, who is based in the UK, is syndicated in Australia, and his readings for the northern hemisphere just transposed. Mind you, they don't mention that Cainer is in fact in Britain at all anywhere on the column, so I might have to e-mail the paper to ask them why and also ask the editor whether he/she knows Jon Boy is in Maharaji's cult...

Anyway, cop a load of what Jon Boy had to say about my week ahead:

'ARIES: It is one thing to trust someone, another to place total, blind faith in another person. That's not a gesture of trust, it is an abdication of responsibility. You can't expect anyone in this world to be perfect, least of all yourself. If, though, you swing to the other extreme and start assuming the worst, the fun will fizzle out of your life faster than the air from a punctured balloon. Take a risk with your faith this week, but make it a gamble you know you can recover from in the unlikely event it fails. And, generally speaking, while Jupiter and Pluto are forming their links to Mars, beware going to extremes of any kind.'

Hmmmmm. Well that's interesting advice from a premie, wouldn't you say? I wish I'd paid Jon loads of cash to get a private reading like this when I was an aspirant. Could have saved me a lot of misery, altho mind you, maybe Pluto and Jupiter were fucking with Mars at the time and thus prevented such an insight....! And he's right, the fun did fizzle out of my life like a punctured balloon, once I took it to 'the extreme' and become a devotee of his Perfect Master.

And on the topics of cults, I had an interesting conversation with a friend last night, who knew I was in Maharaji's cult for four years, and we were discussing my resume which I am currently updating. We had an witty exchange about whether I should put the fact that I was in a cult on my resume, and outline the possible benefits to a future employer of having been in one. For example, having been a premie means that I can:

be a team player
be loyal to the company and believe it's the only one to work for
actively network and promote the company and its CEO to prospective clients/customers
willingly participate in the implementation of new programs
work persuasively with audio and visual presentations
work alone, but only with adequate supervision [from a Perfect Boss]
absorb information and focus on continued improvement of myself and my colleagues
be confidential in respect to trade secrets of the company in order to maintain competitive advantage
work long hours without a fuss and for no extra benefits

See fellow exes, it's not all that bad. Stop your complaining and look at the bright side of having been in a cult...

Regards, TD

5 Brighter than 1000 suns as seen through night vision goggles
4 As bright as the lights on Maharaji's jet
3 As bright as a 60 watt light bulb
2 As bright as a pile of burning ghi on a swinging arti tray
1 As bright as the inner light as seen by the third eye
Other