Ok, cultweasel, let's set a fews facts straight here.

Selene was the one who started the attack on ME in the posts listed below.

And you will see that you were encouraging here to go even further, weren't you. It's so easy to omit a few pertinent details like that, isn't it?

Well, maybe you were meditating too much and you forgot, huh?

Don't these vital facts that you omitted matter at all? Or is the only thing that matters to you trying to make me and other ex-premies look bad no matter what the cost is in terms of an honest human being? It seems to me that one gives up way too much personal integrity in order to be a follower of the Maharaji or Prem Rawat or the Lord of the Universe.

Furthermore, it's quite apparent that you enjoy the ex-ex-premies because they help you fulfill your propaganda mission to make the ex-premies look bad. Selene was always a loose cannon as an ex-premie. And now that she's on your ship it seems that you make great effort to aim her our way.

Selene has been attacking me since the Spring of 1999 because I wouldn't fulfill her fantasy that involved a lot of things that I'll not mention here.

And then again, I disappointed Selene by not fulfilling her fantasies at a meeting in San Francisco on June 3, 2001.

So, again, Selene started attacking me and I responded by providing a history of why she is so angry with me.

Seems pretty reasonable and fair to me.

I think people deserve to know the background as to why Selene is so hateful towards me.

Note: I've changed my name here to "Stewart" to avoid further embarassment by having my family, friends, and employers see this stuff.



 Date:  Thurs, Apr 15, 2004 at 09:30:29 (EST)
 Posted by:  Catweasel
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  The true nature of things
It's hard not to notice what went on here for several days.A very personal attack was launched on one of the posters here. It was sustained and intense.It was orchestrated by Stewart. It's aim was to discredit a person who in full control of her faculties decided to walk away from an obsessive, abusive and oppressive group of people.
Now if you or I get attacked and we defend ourselves, worry about what is said and express our discomfort well hey that's OK! But if you have HISTORY? Woe betide you!
Your sanity will be called into question.('are you manic? - NO I'm bloody upset!)
Your moral integrity will be questioned (She wanted me bad man! - Well.... actually I thought he was totally deluded)
The interesting fact about on-line persona's is that very few reflect the real charachter of the person in question.Selene is a very strong exception. She is honest, bright and fun to be around. Same here...
Mr Stewart is the ultimate Walter Mitty meets down at Heel. He broadly makes claims of a successful career and a comfortable life. Nothing could be further from the truth.
It's not hard to find out about someone especially where that person has moved in the same social circles over a 28 year period.
It IS hard to deny your persona when people have known you that long.
The Hex Factor have challenged M to sue them.In Australia we have litigated against people but he never has. Yet because he hasn't they have never once stopped to consider the nature of their involvement with him. Someone said it here the other day.When you are bestowed the gift of his 'knowledge' as he calls it the fact that you stop practising the techniques and refute your invovement doesn't change the basic fact. You had a loving relationship with M.What you choose now is what you choose. The way he views it I dont believe changes..
The rest , the rubbish touted on EPO, the angst of F7 is all quite irrelevant to someone who has promised to guide you through life with a wonderful appreciation of the journey.
To those who set out to harrass and upset us..there is a simple message. Sit quietly and marvel at the incredible beauty of life itself in the manner you have been shown. Everything else will pass.....:)))))))))))))))))))))

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 08:48:10 (EST)
 Posted by:  Selene
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Why I Care
I know you will all enjoy Amaroo in your own ways.
Recent events including the upcoming Amaroo event have made me think a lot about life.

My estranged friend dying. Some of you know the details and also know they are best left off the public forums, for her sake not mine.

And it's made me think, of the people I lost in my life because I chose hate for a while
because I was so cruel on the ex-forum and because I had so much anger.
It's not lost on me that such anger
was encouraged and that very same dynamic has been and still is now being used as a useless attempt to discredit me as in -

'Selene, you said over and over on the Fwhatever how much it helped you to find EPO'.

Let this be a warning to all - we should know quick fixes fail more often than not. EPO is a quick fix there are a few pulling the strings and they would prefer the rest of you know as little as needed till the big revelations come.
Oh and don't hold your breath.

Well folks when you lose someone you shared so much with,
EPO 'friendship' experience pales by far. Sorry if I hurt anyones feelings by saying this, then again if I hurt your feelings ask yourself why if you are my friend? And email me so I can help explain if possible.

There was one pyscho premie who caused me to hate all premeies and she is NOT the one I mention above.

No doubt if I met her now she'd still piss me off but I would like to think she wouldn't because I have grown, can't imagine if she
has or not but google knows what she'd be w/o her knowledge. A trainwreck.
And compared to the nasties on the ex premie forum?

I am sorry DavidJ and others if I am mentioning them yet again -
think of it as sort of a compare and contrast and a way of me processing
a loss and celebrating many gains, as she would have wanted me to.

Hey DavidJ if Cryptonomicon is too much you can always use it to delfect golf balls, it's thick enough, what 800 pages
or something?

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 08:48:10 (EST)
 Posted by:  FA
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Thank you Selene
I know it's not easy but I'd like you to keep talking about this.
I'm sure any impartial viewer of this site realises that there are people we will never come to terms with in our lives. I know that's true for me...
But why not tell us your story. I think you make some really valid points. I have yet to see the people at EPO genuinely help anyone.
Moreover I believe that many people who have come into contact with the 'Ex Premie Organisation' have been treated abysmally and are quite often further damaged in the process.As you know Selene I have watched what has happened to you on-line and I have admired your courage and determination to take responsibility for your own life.

At this time it is probably very important that some visitors gain a realistic yardstick as to what the truth is where people like Mr Heller and Co are concerned.How would you characterise their sensitivity and care for those individuals who they have contacted after they(the visitors) initially posted on the Ex Premie Forum?

The Cat

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 10:38:42 (EST)
 Posted by:  Sel
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Re: Thank you Cat
My story is simple. I care deeply about people, yet I have a diagnosed mood disorder and I am sick and tired of talking about it and stupid people (my pyschiatrist's term for those who don't understand psychiatric disorders) don't care or and use that against me when I post. Well as my Dr.says, they are stupid about it no matter what they do for a living or boast about.

I found the EPO site in 1997. I read it sporadically while at breaks at work, found it weird and found a few, especially a Jim Heller, to be yuck to the max,but tried to find something there,and did because of course I wanted to. Bob Mishler interview, that stuff. So, I started posting in 1998, before that just about any who had left did so in the 80s. Me? I was a newbie on most counts for them. Hey what a catch huh?

To explain further you would have to understand the city I live in; it's a college/retirement town. Not much in between ( you would die at what our remodeling is costing!!) It's considered prime real estate because of the California exodus and the weather.
But not in the late 70s:
So in the late 70s early 80s when M basically got rid of things Tucson disappeared premie-community wise. Anyone who could moved to Phoenix or Southern CA.

I wasn't ready to move I had just moved out on my ex and had 2 young children.
So I stayed. I kept something with me from all those years (received K in 1972) , it was always there all through the 80s and mid 90s when nothing else was there it kept me, my 9.7 GPA and my single motherhood and I did it! I did it all. With help and I now where it comes from...

What I am about to say is about one persons sad life and I do NOT believe she could have been better with M. In fact it is my belief the person I am about to describe would have been worse.... so.. introduce C stage left...
Somewhere in the late 90s this person re-appeared in Tuscon. She had been working overseas. She had been fundemental in my early 70s Tucson premie life but she had changed bad. I won't go there too much other than to say she was into mean mean weird 80s drugs, etc, got in to AA (no offense Carlos) and was AWFUL to me!

I am sure it is hard for those of you in Aussie land to understand how one person could be so influencial like that - well it's hard because you can't imagine living in a place with no support. Keep in mind I did a HELL of a job all alone , meditated, kept a lot of faith through those years.

As time and events started up in LA, we (this person and I) travelled together and I had to learn a lot of PR skills along the way lest the cab drivers, hotel clerks and shuttle drivers shove us off the ride, that is how bad she was.

It all came to a head at M's 25th in LA I came home and told her I wanted nothing to do with premies ever again, if she were any example. I had by this time accumulated a lot of assets and (fek you Marianne someone showed me your AAA post , maybe you need AA)
I told her I was out. She flipped. She's moved to LA since.

And taaa daaa I found epo and the ex premies.

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 11:08:26 (EST)
 Posted by:  Selene
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  next installment
Not easy? It's harder not to talk about it.
So I was accepted into the inner but not really inner of the in crowd of the ex premies. I made some what I thought were friends.

I ACTED OUT on my disease I was so ill. I was so confused. My kids were joint custody the joint part on the dad's end , he got them high I triend to get them through high school somehow I did. And they are doing GREAT it is another miracle and I do believe in them.

So as I progress a Barney Stewart thing bothers me then he and Heller start killing me hardly online for defending my co adminship of the Recent Exes forum. It was my responsibility and it was intruded upon. Use your imagination. It happened again a few years ago.

And they think I am stupid. fuck shit!!

So I learned to distrust them. They taught me. Along the way I learned to relive, relike rekindle a great experience and so am going to shorten this way up by just saying thank you.

ps I know those who protest against me the loudestknow it's because this it what it is.
hahah, gotta love it.
Next time around exes you might try a program of attraction. It's worked just fine for M and has attracted attractive people.

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 11:25:44 (EST)
 Posted by:  Doc
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Lovely S
will comment on SF :)

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 11:25:44 (EST)
 Posted by:  Catweasel
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Thanks Selene
A most excellent story.I hope some of those people reading have the common sense to dig deeper and find out just what is really happening and and what type of people they are prepared to laud.....

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 14:06:26 (EST)
 Posted by:  Selene
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  and that dum drek!!
I had nothing to do with his mishap in his child porn skam. i wonder who did, since it was his mess after all, I know **I** didn't.

That was a fluke one of those things that only happen by grace, my posts were missing for most of that summer/fall time of 1999 , since I was hospitalized during most of his mishap but I , being me, posted unintentionally something that that fall.

Affair Jeff? I met you in person remember? I'm remembering quite well who turned who down at that time. Irish Drunk as I was I had enuf sense for that!! (tho I am an awful flirt tis true but I mean really)

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 15:34:24 (EST)
 Posted by:  JS
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Stewart makes vicious threat to selene on AAA
This sick, twisted and dishonest man must be exposed and stopped.
As soon as possible.

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 18:51:23 (EST)
 Posted by:  Selene
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Re: Stewart makes vicious threat to selene on AAA
Thanks JS and yes Cat, please make and keep all the notes you want.

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 18:51:23 (EST)
 Posted by:  Catweasel
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  I noted this..but
I think he is going to try and reveal how the 'desperate' and 'sex crazed' Selene tried to have her way with the MANGOD! Jeffrey (Long John) Stewart. How COULD she resist????
(' My god look at the SIZE of that thing,we'll never get it on the album cover!')......

('You mean his arse or his gut?')
Yes Porn star Jeffrey.......Woman feint at his feet....young girls SWOON at his oversize LOVE HANDLES......and small dogs become rabid!!

Oh us your glorious rising are the one!

Freakin loser.......
Jeffrey does star in a porn movie's called 'I love myself' .....and then shows us the way he lives his long wank...anyone can's on line 24/7 ;))))))))))

 Date:  Tues, Apr 13, 2004 at 19:33:05 (EST)
 Posted by:  S
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  oooooooo it's a shame
Such artillery can't be moved to a mechanism to be used at will, w/o the personality attacker er I mean attacking NO I mean attached. yeah that's it.

 Date:  Wed, Apr 14, 2004 at 06:58:51 (EST)
 Posted by:  Catweasel
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  An even bigger shame
He feigns ignorance and dreams of medical ads

 Date:  Wed, Apr 14, 2004 at 09:21:02 (EST)
 Posted by:  Selene
 Original URL:  Click here (However, the link may be stale.)
 Subject:  Re: An even bigger shame
I don't see it in his cards less he think that is in the future what you would call a dose of reality medicine. But I relinquish all claims of predicting the future. It's bunk. Jim Heller says so.
I do, in fact - in this case.

Check up front top Catty. Tells me what you thinks, in SF if need be.

selene the besieged, One of my strengths: Always willing to ask for help when I others think I need it and beg me to.

THE CAT'S WHISKER A Funky little spot for anyone feeling free and easy

5 I can see clearly now
4 The light at the end of the tunnel is a train
3 Finally, I've got some people I can relate to.  Thanks, Cat!
2 I'm going to have to think about this some more.
1 I'm feeling so free and easy that I don't care.

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